There are times that I wish we were rich, filthy rich like what we see in the television. So that I could have my own helper that I pay to do everything I can’t or I don’t want to so that my mom and I won’t argue about my mess and the chores. Rich so that my dad wouldn’t be too far away from me; that he could stay by my side to protect me when my mom is mad at me. Rich so that I could buy stuff I want like clothes, art stuff and other things that fascinates me. Things that I consider that can make me happy. Rich so that I can travel always, not just annually because they still need to save up. Rich enough that me and my siblings wouldn’t fight over such things we need to share because that’s all they’ve got. I wanna be rich; in money and in love.
Most of the time, I am contented and happy. Money can’t always buy happiness. Like look at others, I’m mlre blessed than them. But this just happens sometimes; when I’m depressed. Like right now.
Life Update—S e p t e m b e r
It’s September 15, we’re halfway done with this month. Ber months finally started and I can’t even believe we’re 3 and a half months away from 2015. I don’t want to graduate yet, so please, my dearest time, slow down. Sorry for not having decent photos to update my blog, but I am really trying hard to keep my hands doing what I really love—writing and capturing photos.
Here’s what kept me busy for the past few weeks. My blog is pretty much a portfolio, diary and a planner. But really, here’s what it is.
- August academics. I knew I wouldn’t be part of the honor’s list this year. I failed my physics finals and my math finals was only passing. But thank God, I had no grade lower than 85—which makes me a merit awardee! No promises, but I am working extra hard to make my grades higher. Just no pressure.
- Buwan ng Wika. I may not have blogged about this, but indeed it was fun. Very hassle because as seniors, they expect the best from us. Practices everywhere, but my dearest Bona made sure we will win. We gave all our best. Also, I consider myself as BNW’s photographer because within that two days, all I did was to take photos.
- Dagliang Talumpati 2014. The first APSSAM-MAPESA inter-school contest. Nope, I wasn’t the contestant, but I was part of the team who will go to other school, namely Malate Catholic School for the contest. SFS didn’t win, but it was indeed, an experience.
- APSSAM-MAPESA games. My friends has been telling to watch their games (volleyball and basketball) but I can’t really find time. They’re asking me to take pictures but sadly, I can’t right now. Plus it’s still in Binondo. Makati and Binondo are way too far! Hopefully some other time!
- SSG Responsibilities. Sort of thankful because finally, I can feel that I was elected as the SC President. Meetings everywhere, arrange this, arrange that. Tell here, announce here, make this proposal. Bulletin boards. Pressure, but I wanted this. I’ll get through this.
- Math and Science Month. As the class’s vice president, I have to be responsible. Especially that our president is busy, literally. I was assigned to assign and fix everything. But of course, team work!
- Foundation month. Busy month! Practices everywhere. Toxic. After our prelims on Thursday and Friday, it would be the start of everything. Mass demo, cultural night, transitus, family day and such! I’m excited!
But after all this, I want to go back on track of course. I hope to have some other time! I can do this. I can do all things through Him that strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13
Oh, I’m more active on twitter and IG, sometimes. Follow me! @biancadoms
I have been writing and deleting every word I write right now. It’s been an hour but I haven’t wrote anything yet. It’s like I never wrote something perfect for a perfect person like you. I try so hard to put my feelings into words but I think, as of now, I can’t. I am confused. I don’t know what’s right or wrong, to like you or to be casual with you. One side of me is telling that I should tell you what I feel. That it goes it like this: I swear I am tired of being hurt; but I am willing to risk. I am willing to gamble. I want to be strong just for a while. I will tell you every bit, every feeling that I have. Another side of me tells me that you’re not worth it. Not worth to love, to risk for or to be in a relationship. Maybe because I feel that you’ll never like me back. So the other side’s like: “he’s the best friend type, go on”. Bottom line, either I like you and risk or to be a friend that I’ll never lose.
For the first time in my life, I’m confused. This is all your fault.